This week marked the start of Semester 1 2010 at the university where I study and work. It is a little daunting for me this semester because even though my research has intensified significantly in the last couple of months, I have agreed to take on 8 hours a week of tutoring as well. Not wanting to travel onto campus too often, I have placed all my classes between 9am-6pm on Tuesday.
Although I have many financial reasons for wanting to take on more work this semester (e.g. cover the excesses of my conference in Amsterdam, support The Cat for his career changes, and buy a new computer), my main motivation is psychological. I relish the opportunity just to get out of the house, the relaxing bus trip into the city where I get to catch up on my favourite podcasts (The Wigglian Way, A Pagan Heart in Maine, SpiritsCast and Elemental Castings), and having new characters and challenges on my mind. Working from home can be so lonely. Last semester, I grew destructively hypersensitive. This year, as the pressure to complete my thesis mounts, I’m keeping ahead of the waves and doing my utmost to ensure I remain psychologically, emotionally and spiritually balanced.
On Tuesday, I attended a team meeting for one of my courses where I got to meet the other tutors. Two of them were from Germany and as I chatted to them about their decisions to relocate here, I began thinking about my friend who is in the reversed position of studying in Germany. I really missed our regular tea and sympathy sessions. I still feel an eerie sense of emptiness whenever I walk past her Faculty’s building. One conversation I remember having with her in particular only about a year ago was about having children. I told her that if I decided to have children, I would like to have my first child before my 30th birthday, but after my 25th. When I said this at the time, 25 felt like such a long way away, but then it occurred to me today that I turn 25 in less than 8 months.
For the first time in my life, I feel ready to have children. However, this hopeful anticipation also comes with a sense of urgency about my career. Perhaps another reason I’m so motivated to take on extra tutoring this semester is that I’m eager to lay down the financial foundations of my life. I want to ensure that when I do begin hearing the soft pitter-patter of small paws, we can afford a bigger burrow with enough space for planting carrots and a cupboard full of colour pencils and craft supplies for inquisitive young minds.
Children are very expensive . . . which is a big reason why I don’t really want any if I ever get married. Yet I do enjoy (most of the time) working with children, especially preschoolers. Elementary school kids are . . . not my preferred age group. I think it’s because I can be very silly with the former, whereas the latter will give me weird looks and question my sanity.
I also like teenagers (when they are not obnoxious). It’s fun talking with them and giving them insights about the wondrous adult working life ~_~;;
Really, though, I think I meant to just work with children instead of having or adopting them. Or maybe I’m meant to raise rabbits instead. Hm.
But if you have kids, I’m sure they will be wonderful people like you and your hubby.
By: Tara on 5 March 2010
at 1:08am
Parenting means very different things to different people, and although I agree with you that children are no negligible expense, as parents, you also have a great degree of control over how much you spend on the non-necessities. I think after I have children, I will have no choice but to want to give them the ‘very best’ of everything, but things that I personally don’t find necessary such as a private school education and expensive toys (we’ll see how that plan works in reality!) will be a huge reduction in cost, where other parents may see them as necessary and therefore, see children as ‘expensive’.
By: Bun on 5 March 2010
at 6:25pm
Helena, I could not agree more. The best things that I could give to my future children involve more time than they do money. Delicious home made meals, treats, toys, craft-projects, camping trips, museum visits, etc. are very time consuming but affordable. A bag of flour or a few balls of yarn costs just a few dollars but can provide hours of entertainment, as long as we as parents have any idea what to do with them. With all these wonderful craft blogs just a click away, I can’t imagine it being very difficult to pick up new crafts
. These activities, coupled with quality time spent with the parents, are more enriching for a child’s development than any expensive television, toy or prepackaged treat.
By: Fiona on 5 March 2010
at 9:36pm
If you ever want to teach your children to knit, Fiona, you should also spend a morning making wooden knitting needles with them as well. This tutorial looks like great fun!
By: Bun on 6 March 2010
at 3:44pm
[...] day. One of my ‘Big Fun Scary’ challenges for myself this year was to apply myself to my (many, many hours of) tutoring with renewed dedication, commitment, and vigour and as a part of this deal, I fought off [...]
By: inspirational leadership « About a Bun on 5 March 2010
at 6:14pm
I really miss our tea and sympathy sessions also. I am craving some decent English conversation in general. Some friends remarked on Ventrilo that I have noticeably lost some of my Australian accent!
As you already know, my plan for children (if any) is ideally, like you, to have a first child by the time I turn 30 for health reasons. In my current state I have absolutely no idea how this would pan out. I am envious that you feel ready for children despite concerns over your career. I still haven’t even come to terms with having to put my career on hold for 1-2 years to bear a child.
By: Fiona on 5 March 2010
at 9:50pm
That’s very interesting… some of my friends say that their Australian accents enhance when they are overseas, like a physical manifestation of their homesickness!
By: Bun on 6 March 2010
at 1:03am